Late Night Thoughts – 24.4.17


I am so small, I can barely be seen.
How can this great love be inside me.

Look at your eyes. They are small
but they see enormous things.



Original Poetry

The ultimate sign of strength
is not revenge, nor is it anger.
It’s the ability to accept 
and forgive those
who wronged you 
in ways you previously perceived
We may not forget-
and perhaps we should not,
but one should always forgive. 
Carrying bitter resentment
in your heart 
weighs far too heavily
on the soul. 


W.P Young’s “The Shack”

Original Writing

Recently, I decided to make the monumental decision of temporarily stepping away from crime thrillers and venture towards other genres. More specifically, I was attracted to the reviews of Young’s Shack, of which are considerably mixed.

Without giving too much away, the novel surrounds a man whose life is turned upside down when he experiences a family tragedy. The tragedy is of such a horrifying extent, he begins to question how God can live in a world where evil like this exists. His story and his journey address fundamental issues raised by agnostics and atheists on a daily basis, amidst wars in poverty-stricken countries and humanitarian crisis. Justifiably so, the protagonist loses faith in God, and whilst at this lowest point, he encounters an experience which somehow miraculously changes every single perception he had, of religion and of mankind.

My initial thoughts were of a sceptical nature when first reading this novel; firstly, I’m not a Christian and thus, could not take this at face value. However, there were considerable lessons to be learnt by reading this story; even if one isn’t religious, or practising, it certainly speaks to you on a spiritual level. It’s almost as if the author can sense the scepticism the reader feels prior to opening the book, and works with it to create a sensational masterpiece.

Like many other novels with underlying morals that shape the story, it left me questioning a few of my own spiritual beliefs. Religiously speaking, I know where and with Whom my faith lies, but I understand those who discredit any existence of a deity when wars, murder, rape and other evils are present in society everyday. This book addresses this internal strife. It speaks to the believer and the non-believer, without simultaneously shoving the reader’s own religious/spiritual stance down the reader’s throat.

I cannot recommend this book enough; it certainly makes you reevaluate how you look at the world, and the importance of being the best person you can possibly be in this lifetime.

A x

Featured Image:


Original Poetry

Happy new year! I know we’re a good 5 days in to 2016 but amidst a hectic work schedule and spending time with my loved ones, I’ve neglected my blog.

Usually, this is the time where people set goals and ambitions for the year ahead, only to bitterly neglect them a month later. Which makes me wonder why people set them at all…

This year, I’ve decided to set (hopefully) realistic ambitions based on my experiences of the rather traumatic last year in addition to previous ones. Here they are:

  1. To remain in good health – Obviously I have no real control over this but I’m keeping my fingers crossed to be pain free with no trips to the emergency room, or at least not as many as last year.
  2. To continue growing – This covers both spiritual, emotional and academic aspects of my life.
  3. To be happy – To be happy within yourself is imperative and something very undervalued in today’s society. With mental health issues at an all time high, true contentedness is underrated; we accept far less than what we deserve in most aspects of our lives. Once upon a time, I based my happiness entirely on the people I surrounded myself with and that was one of the biggest mistakes I’d ever made – people can so very easily walk out of your life as they walked in and it’s a tough loss to accept. Being at peace with yourself and embracing your qualities is one of the fundamental pieces in learning to love and define yourself. We aren’t defined by the people we’re surrounded by.

I guess so much of 2015 was severely impacted by my anxiety, and by people who contributed to my anxiety attacks, that I forgot how to enjoy myself and appreciate how far I’d come. Doing the things you love, living life to the full, these are all so incredibly important and so easily overlooked. Spending a lot of time in hospital allowed me to reflect on what I really needed from life and essentially that’s my own strength and support – no one else’s. Over the course of 2015, I grew close to a few people only to have them walk straight out of my life and bonds I believed to be so sacred to me were shattered in a matter of seconds. I’ll love and cherish them so much but I can’t force them to come back and that’s okay. Ultimately, I cannot control who enters or leaves my world but to love and to lose results in great strength and bloody fantastic poetry.

I’ve also come to appreciate how much I have; an exceptionally strong and loving family, relatively (kind of) good health and countless reasons to be happy.

Have a safe and happy 2016! 🙂

A x

(PS featured image I took from my holiday has nothing to do with this post, it’s simply a reminder of fond memories 2015 gave me.)