Life Updates

Happy Father’s Day!

Today marks a very special day dedicated to the heroic fathers who do so much for their children! Sadly, I spent majority of this day wrapped in a blanket as a result of being unwell, and it didn’t go to plan at all. Nevertheless, I’m looking forward to making up for it when I’m feeling a little better.

These past few years have been particularly difficult and my dad has been one of the very few people to stand by me through thick and thin. With his tireless efforts to make me feel better, make me laugh and support me, I couldn’t have asked for a better father. He goes well out of his way and beyond to make my life a little more bearable and easier. From picking me up from the station at ridiculous hours of the night, to dropping me off to work at 3am when I used to work at the airport, it’s insane how he’s managed to put up with me! Yet he continues to do so, showering me with love and support endlessly.

Dad, I don’t give you enough credit for what you do for me, and for our family. You’re one of the most incredible men I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing and loving, and I most certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today without you, and all the sacrifices you’ve made. Everyday, I grow more proud of you as a father, as a businessman and as a person.

Thank you for doing what you do. For loving me, for supporting me, for sitting down at 1am to discuss world politics and world peace with me. You’ve provided me with so much in life that I never thank you for, but will forever be grateful for.

All my love,

Anisah

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Life Updates

Happy Birthday, Mum!

I’m so bummed to be working till 10 tonight on my mum’s special day, but nevertheless, I wanted to take this opportunity to just thank her for everything she’s done for me so far.

My mum has relentlessly supported me, showering me in compassion through my darkest hours; it’s thanks to her that I’m the person I am today. Mum, you have helped me embrace a strength I never knew I had with your tireless dedication to making me feel better as well as making me a better person. You’re an incredible role model, too – aside from the 5 degrees under your belt!

I hope one day I can make you as proud as I am to call you my mother. Even when I’m at my most frustrating, you still find it in yourself to comfort me, and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. The sacrifices you’ve made for me will never go unappreciated, and one day you’ll see that.

Thank you for encouraging me to surpass my own goals and achieve more than I thought possible. You deserve nothing less than eternal happiness: the woman you are is the woman I aspire to be. I love you unconditionally and more than I can ever put into words. (Oh, and the care home jokes are a joke, I promise!)

Anisah x

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Life Updates, Original Writing

Perspective

It’s March 2nd and my first day back home after spending 5 days in hospital has come to an end. I have thoroughly enjoyed being wrapped up in a blanket watching ‘The Night Manager’ and ‘The People vs OJ Simpson: American Crime Story.’ However, I’m not the same person I was when I went in to hospital.

Last Friday night, I was left feeling a little on edge after experiencing discomfort due to ongoing stomach pains. Of course, stomach pains are nothing out of the ordinary for me but they usually went away after an hour or so and even after taking medication, I was still suffering. Things reached a peak at around 11pm on Friday night; I was doubled over in pain, unable to breathe without feeling a stabbing pain rippling through my upper abdomen. Not cute. By 2.30am the following morning, I was hooked up to an IV line. Over the course of the next 5 days, I was transferred from a&e to the surgical assessment unit, to the day surgery unit. But that isn’t the point of this post.

Whilst in the day surgery unit, I came across many patients being admitted and transferred and I guess I should’ve been prepared for some sticky situations – after all, this was a surgical unit. On Monday night, a young patient was admitted to the bed next to me after undergoing surgery. It was clear that something hadn’t gone too great with the operation because she was screaming in agony and bleeding out. This was at roughly 10pm so visiting times were over and the rest of us in the bay were alone and it was pretty quite, with patients either zonked out on morphine or trying their best to sleep. Her parents were with her to ensure she settled in okay and was recovering from the operation, when things took a sudden turn for the worse. I heard the patient’s mother call the nurses frantically, telling them her daughter was feeling light-headed. Within two minutes, the patient had gone into cardiac arrest from bleeding out.

The next 20 minutes were a blur of surgeons, anaesthetists and nurses running around, giving her oxygen and trying to stop the bleeding. With no theatres free to perform emergency surgery, they were forced to stop the bleeding there and then in order to save her life. Her parents were hysterical with fear and surgeons were shouting about the lack of blood bags available to them – it was terrifying. I guess I forgot that in hospitals, things do go wrong and situations like this do occur. It’s not common but it does happen and in the moment, everything just fell away. The pain I was experiencing, the sickness, all the symptoms just fell away because all I was thinking of was how young this girl was next to me and how numb I felt.

I don’t know if they managed to save her. She didn’t come back the following day, and neither the nurses nor other members of staff had any clue as to what happened in that operating theatre. Situations like this put everything into perspective; life is too unpredictable and we ought to make the most of the good health we have. What is life if we don’t have our health? Right now, I can’t get those 20 minutes out of my head. I’m not sure if I will forget the panic in her parents’ voices, the panic in the surgeons’ voices and the sound of the blood pressure monitor dropping. It’s a horrific reminder of the fact that we’re only on this planet for a limited amount of time and we ought to make the most of every single second; by being good within ourselves and towards others. Whether you believe in God and His power to guide you or not, it’s important to have a pure heart as that alone makes us immortal.

“Is not He Who listens to the distressed soul when it calls on Him, and remove its suffering, and makes you inheritors of the earth?…” [Surah al-Naml 27:62] 

A x

 

 

 

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A Special Note to a Loved One

It’s my (not so little) cousin’s 14th birthday today!

He’s the closest thing I’ll ever have to a sibling and I’m beyond proud of how far he’s come in life. We’ve had so many obstacles thrown our way over the past few years and he’s overcoming every single one like the miracle he is.

I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love him. From helping change his nappies when he was a baby, to teaching him how to read and write, I’m always going to be grateful to God for giving me such a precious gift. There are times in life when God challenges us, but He only does so in order for us to realise and embrace our true potential.

Everything I do, I do for you, pal. One day you’ll see that.  Alhamdulillah, thank you for blessing my life.

“…And If you would count the blessings of Allah you would not be able to count them…” [Surah Ibrahim 14:34]

Anisah x

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IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! (KIND OF)

It’s my birthday!

Well, not really. It was yesterday, but I had the best 19th birthday a girl could ask for. A whole day of messages from friends and family meant so much to me and it made me realise how lucky I am to have a close circle of people I can trust. After a hectic three years of being in and out of hospital, having endless tests, blood tests every month and check-ups every month, I’m incredibly grateful to have my health back to normal. Two operations, a gallbladder removal and an inflamed pancreas later, things are sailing smoothly and it’s taught me to not take things like good health for granted. Between my gallbladder being removed and suffering from pancreatitis over the Christmas period, I was consumed by a fear of relapsing into bad health, going back to hospital and being in pain again. When you experience unbelievable pain over and over again, it really brainwashes you and takes over your life; it’s all you think about when you wake up; when you fall asleep and all that time in between. I guess it’s taken a while to come to terms with the trauma I experienced, and I’ve never really accepted it; psychiatrists, doctors, family and lecturers at university have repeatedly told me to finally admit I have been through the worst of what life could throw my way but I was so stubborn in thinking there are people dying across the world, and that I should be lucky for the life I have now, I couldn’t accept it. (I’ll let you into a secret: I still struggle) But everyone is right. No one has the right to feel their health problems, mental or physical, are inferior. We all suffer in our own way.

And I am so glad, and thankful to God, that I made it through the darkest period of my life to tell you all this.

Thank you to everyone who made my 19th birthday special.

I’m truly a lucky girl.

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