IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! (KIND OF)

Original Writing

It’s my birthday!

Well, not really. It was yesterday, but I had the best 19th birthday a girl could ask for. A whole day of messages from friends and family meant so much to me and it made me realise how lucky I am to have a close circle of people I can trust. After a hectic three years of being in and out of hospital, having endless tests, blood tests every month and check-ups every month, I’m incredibly grateful to have my health back to normal. Two operations, a gallbladder removal and an inflamed pancreas later, things are sailing smoothly and it’s taught me to not take things like good health for granted. Between my gallbladder being removed and suffering from pancreatitis over the Christmas period, I was consumed by a fear of relapsing into bad health, going back to hospital and being in pain again. When you experience unbelievable pain over and over again, it really brainwashes you and takes over your life; it’s all you think about when you wake up; when you fall asleep and all that time in between. I guess it’s taken a while to come to terms with the trauma I experienced, and I’ve never really accepted it; psychiatrists, doctors, family and lecturers at university have repeatedly told me to finally admit I have been through the worst of what life could throw my way but I was so stubborn in thinking there are people dying across the world, and that I should be lucky for the life I have now, I couldn’t accept it. (I’ll let you into a secret: I still struggle) But everyone is right. No one has the right to feel their health problems, mental or physical, are inferior. We all suffer in our own way.

And I am so glad, and thankful to God, that I made it through the darkest period of my life to tell you all this.

Thank you to everyone who made my 19th birthday special.

I’m truly a lucky girl.

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